An Unwanted Litter

The labour pains began early in the morning for the tired lioness. She sighed as she felt them, before wincing in pain. She had stayed in her own cave for the rest of the day, alerting some of the lionesses to her predicament. She had been rather cold towards the others when they offered their help, for Vumbi had changed. She was no longer the sweet, trusting lioness she used to be, she was distant, quiet, reserved and short-tempered. Her dreams were filled with her fears for the future, for her cubs that were to be born that would know nothing of their father other than he died. She didn't want her cubs to know that she had been foolish and allowed a lion to take advantage of her. She was torn between wanting them to know that their father was a horrible lion who abandoned them - so they too would hate him - or a great lion who died before their birth. With a sigh, she decided they would know that latter rather than the former, so they did not become filled with hate like she had been.

Vumbi knew she had become like this, a cold lioness that the others whispered about whilst they believed her to not be listening, or sleeping. She heard the whispers, of how she had changed, of the lion who had changed her, of how rude she was and annoying. Vumbi didn't care what they all thought, for none of them would ever have to experience what she had. It tormented her, it was always on the corner of her mind, making her feel sick to the stomach, scared, and wake up covered in sweat and filled with her panic. She shut her eyes tight, a growl leaving her as the pains became worse, and she realised it had been nearly a whole day. The pain was becoming un-bearable, and she let her head fall down and hit the floor as she sighed. It was becoming too much, all of this. Her first litter was the result of an un-wanted event, the worst event of Vumbi's life. It made her blood boil with rage as she thought about it, her first ever litter was because of a bastardly lion! She growled again and grit her teeth through the worsening pain.

One of the lionesses suddenly made her presence known to Vumbi, and she asked if the young lioness needed anything. Vumbi's initial response was to snap at her, then yell that she was fine and didn't need anybody's help before ordering her to leave her be whilst she dealt with this problem on her own. However, the pain made her un-able to say anything throughout it which gave her the time to compose a response. She realised that she was becoming horrible with these lionesses, and how was it their fault that she had experienced an event? She had become cold, rude and distant and took it out on them through no fault of their own. The pain stopped, and she took a moment to catch her breath before she smiled gently at the timid lioness and shook her head. "I am fine, thank you." She said to the lioness, who nodded and left swiftly. Vumbi hated how she'd become like this, and she knew that if she ever saw that lion again she would kill him.

The pain increased very suddenly, and Vumbi felt her breaths come out in short gasps as she curled her paws and un-sheathed her claws. Said claws scraped against the ground as the first cub entered the world, her yowls of pain echoing through the cave as she felt more tears fall. This cub, born into the world un-willing, born into the world not out of love, but out of hate. She looked down at the cub, and her breath hitched in her throat. He looked just like his father, identical except that he was a cub. She turned her head away from him, her eyes squeezed shut as another cub was born into the world - also the product of hate, she thought to herself. She lifted herself up with every ounce of strength she could and looked at the other cub, a girl. Her coat was a mixture of her own and the evil lions, making it less painful to look at her. That would be until the duo would open their eyes, when Vumbi would not be able to bare to look her daughter in the eye. She looked at the daughter, and she had the perfect name in mind. Not only was it her sisters name, but it also meant 'An Apology'. "Adhra," she breathed to the female, before her eyes landed on the other male cub. He would be named like his father, a name that meant many things that his father was. "Akili." She then let her head drop down as the two cubs stumbled towards her, and it was with hesitance she allowed them to curl up next to her.

The days and weeks that passed after Vumbi’s attack that left her with the cubs of her rapist left a tension within the entire small pride. In such a small, close knit community, even one shift affected the group greatly, and with Vumbi’s demeanor quickly falling into a quiet, snappy annoyance laced with depression -- a far cry from her previous adventurous, kind nature -- much of the pride was getting annoyed with her. Everyone’s tempers seemed to be shorter now, and it took a lot for Quanna to keep everyone peaceful and in order. She hoped that the hormones of pregnancy were the primary cause of Vumbi’s change, but the older lioness knew it was an empty hope. Vumbi had not moved on from her attack, hadn’t shown any sign of overcoming the situation and instead fell further.

While the Queen had tried to help, there wasn’t much she could do to help the now broken lioness, especially since the lioness herself seemed to not want to be fixed anymore. A part of her seemed to have given up and only embrace her new, negative emotions, no matter what the other Desertlanders did. It seemed a hopeless situation that hurt Quanna as she watched the lioness, whom she knew when she was but a cub, sink deeper into despair. But Vumbi hadn’t lost the litter, and when she slunk off to go into her private den to birth, Quanna herded the rest of the pride away and waited restlessly for the young lioness to release the life within her, unwanted or otherwise. One lioness went in to check on Vumbi of her own accord, though Quanna warned she would be in no mood for company, and the lioness soon returned shaking her head. Vumbi wanted no help. That wasn’t a surprise, she had always been independent, which was exactly what had got her into her predicament in the first place.

After some time, the roars of pain died down and the scent of new life emerged. Quanna sent the others off, knowing the mother wanted no company and would likely not leave the den for quite some time, but padded inside to check on the lioness herself. Quanna found the younger lioness laying down, exhausted, with two small cubs curled up beside her. She could see the hesitance Vumbi had for having them so close, but Quanna was happy to see that she had not outright left the cubs. Perhaps this was a sign that the mother would be all right.

Quanna was worried for the new mother as well as the cubs. She wasn’t sure how Vumbi would act around her new cubs, if she would take out her grief and hate on the cubs as she had her pridemembers. The queen had worried that Vumbi would simply abandon them, but at least her maternal instincts were in tact enough to help her keep the younglings alive. But would they be cared for as a cub should? The queen wasn’t sure, but with her actions to date, she feared Vumbi would fall short of her mothering duties. “Vumbi,” Quanna greeted softly, hoping to ease the lioness as she made her way near. She paused to look at the cubs, not too close to make the new mother uncomfortable, but closer than a lesser ranking lion would’ve been able. She smiled gently. “They look strong and healthy,” She said approvingly, turning her gaze to Vumbi. “They’ll need a strong and healthy mother.”

[[OOC: Sorry this is so short! I'm in no mood for super long posts today, im trying to power through all of the posting I need to do.]]

Vumbi laid her head down to rest on the cave floor as the exhaustion from her efforts began to settle in. A battle raged within the lioness who had not been ready for cubs as of yet, a battle that would decide how the cubs turned out. One option was to abandon and not care for them, allow the other lionesses to look out for the cubs, and the other was to love for them despite how much they reminded her of a lion who had violated and stolen her innocence. To the others this would seem much an easy decision, just pick the latter. Pick the latter, pick it and all will be fine. You'll move on, they'd say. But Vumbi knew she wouldn't. The strength that used to reside within her was taken that day, and now she was weak and pathetic. She didn't even have the heart to snap at the others anymore, though that could be purely her own exhaustion. They all tried to help her, and she took it as pity. It was why she got so angry, she didn't need their help. Vumbi hated to be seen as weak, even though she knew she was. She wouldn't accept their help. The closeness that used to reside within the Pride had been ruined by her behaviour, and she did care. Oh, she cared so much so that it made her heart ache every day and she felt like a terrible lioness.

But she couldn't change who she was. None of them could understand what she'd seen, how much it had hurt to have his claws rip at her fur whilst she tried to fight back. She'd feared that he would slash open her neck and leave her to fall down that dark hole towards death after he'd finished his business and had felt lucky in only one aspect - that he hadn't murdered her. That was the worst part, the fear that once it was over it would truly all be over. Now, she feared he would come for the cubs. She feared that if she refused them to him, he would then kill her, and as much as she felt like a bad mother, she knew if he came she would not protect them. She couldn't do that to them, leave them with a cowardly mother who could never truly love them, and so she chose the former of her options. They could be loved and cared for by the others of her Pride, but not by herself. She did not care if they hated her, for that would be fine. Then, they wouldn't count on her to protect them from any dark lions. The others would, they could blame them if they were taken.

Vumbi's eyes flickered upwards as Quanna entered, and she sighed. She drew herself up into a more polite yet still laying position and bowed her head to Quanna. She watched warily as Quanna approached, worried over the Queen's hesitance before she realised why she was hesitant. Vumbi frowned at Quanna as reality hit her. Was her Queen really so scared of approaching her, or was she worried that Vumbi would strike at her if she did and snap? Vumbi motioned for Quanna to move forwards and she looked down at the cubs with pure loathing in her eyes. Not directed at the cubs, but at their father. Her expression softened as Adhra yawned and proceeded to lay on Akili who nuzzled his head against her neck. "Pity thats not me." Vumbi's voice was hard with no room for negotiation within it. She wasn't going to take care of them. She would feed them but that would be all. "No, thats not me, is it? I have made my decision, my Queen. I will feed them, and occasionally look after them but I do not want to be considered a proper mother. I do not care who of the Pride cares for them, or if all of you care for them, but I will not be their mother, if you understand me."