Spiritual Questioning

It had been months since the death of both his mother and father, and yet Upendo still kept his chin held high. He had to be there for his two sisters, for Sakina and Malaika. The death of their father was horrible on the two females, and then there came the untimely death of their mother. Upendo fled the scene like a little cub, not being there for his sisters in their time of need. But instead he bonded more with Giza, found things about her that he didn't know before. So what if her father was the most hated lion in the savannah? She wasn't him, only a fraction of his biological code. Granted the young lioness was a princess, but that didn't mean anything anymore. Giza didn't seem to care much about her kingdom back home, the kingdom that she should have some right to one day rule. The russet female was a Lowlander and had been for the majority of Upendo's life. And yet, both of them matured at their own pace, Giza seeming to mature more than Upendo did due to her technically being on her own. But then Upendo matured much in these past few months as well, finding his place in the pride as his sisters' fatherly figure instead of brother. And now Upendo felt more entitled to protect his sisters from anything that lay outside of the Lowland borders. Their mother Shani had mothered a litter young, just because she had wandered out of her lands for a day to meet their devil father. And Upendo was not going to let that happen to his own siblings.

As the thought of his siblings crossed his minds, Jabari and Ziko were the main idea on his mind. His two brothers had been there when their father died, however they didn't seem him die. Have they found out about the death of their mother? Or have they been blissfully naive to the fact that they were now orphans? The brood of five were now teenagers, and Upendo's mane had started to grow larger and thicker. What did Ziko and Jabari look like right now? Had they inherited more from their mother or their father? What about their grandparents? Upendo knew that his brother Ziko carried his paternal grandmother's pelt, so could he actually turn out more like her than anyone else? And what of Jabari? He had a mixture of almost all of his family genetics that Upendo had to wonder if he even looked like anyone in their ancestral family tree. A much darker chocolate, he didn't blend in with the nature of the Coldlands, and that was what he think he held the most against his father. But enough thinking about his brothers, Upendo needed this time to think about himself. He had done nothing but worry about everyone else since his parent's deaths, and now he had to take some time away for himself. A lot had changed in the past couple of months. His voice had gotten a lot deeper, he had grown taller and larger, and he was now a better hunter than he was when his mother was still alive.

Padding through the Lowlands the young adolescent soon stumbled out of the dense jungle and into the clearing of soft velvet grass that surrounded the Maji River. The river is said to have been sacred to the pride and Upendo often wondered if the Great Spirits could be contacted through this spiritual place. Well, there would be no better time to test this theory than the present. The dark tan pelted teen sat at the edge of the river and looked to the sky as the day started to turn into night, the sky turning from a light blue to a stationary grey with a small tinge of purple from the setting sun. The teen sat in silence and looked stationary, hoping that he could see his mother's smiling face once more. But alas, there was nothing that came with his meditative silence. A small sigh was given and Upendo lowered his head to stare at his reflection. His dual-colored eyes were now something that he loved to look at even if it seemed less masculine to do so. His soft violet, it reminded him of his mother so much. And yet, the demonized crimson that he and Ziko shared from their father, he found that he respected his father in the end even though he knew nothing of the truth. His father had went to the end of the world to make his mate and children as happy as they could, and yet he did so when everyone was against him. This love for a family, it was something Upendo had yet to know. But could he do so by becoming more knowledgeable about the Great Spirits? Maybe they could guide his way to knowing how to act just as his father did, but better?

Life in the jungle wasn’t always slow and lazy. There were still threats, and the local pride knew it. Shani had been dead for some time and her killer never found. But for all intents and purporses, it was an easy existence, as far as Giza was concerned. The sun didn’t broil the land’s inhabitants like it had in the Pridelands. There was water everywhere, and she had grown to love it. But as she grew taller and more adult like in appearance, Giza still felt a bit.. off. She was alone that day, walking in solitude as she occasionally did when Upendo was elsewhere. The young lion remained the only male in the pride, and though two of the younger lionesses were his sisters, the other females seemed well aware of his development into a handsome lion. His mother would have been proud, they said amongst themselves. He was good. And deep down, Giza was still dark.

She didn’t suspect for a second that Upendo had spilled her secret about her parentage. It didn’t matter where she had come from, Giza was just different from them. There would always be awkwardness about the lioness that the others couldn’t miss. She was a part of them while still separate. But now that she was older, she had been approached by Queen Nyota about joining the hunting party. Giza had never been much of a ‘team player,’ and her attempts thus far had resulted in causing more harm than good for the rest of the hunters. She worked better alone, or with Upendo. It wasn’t that she was lazy, for Giza had learned to enjoy the thrill of the hunt: the careful stalking, the excitement of the chase, and what lioness wouldn’t love the taste of blood from the target she had been after?

Nearly a month had gone by and Giza had another secret, one she had been apprehensive to tell Upendo about: her mother was near. Nyota had met the pale lioness herself, on the run from the kingdom she had been a victim of, and she had warned the pride to leave the lioness and her teenaged son alone. Hearing her mother’s name again was a shock to Giza, who was still uncertain what she should do. She knew Upendo would urge her to visit her mother in the ashen lands she now called home. But how could she forgive Heshima for her perceived misdeeds? In her heart, Giza was still the lost cub she had been, allowed to leave her father’s kingdom forever. Heshima, and even Kifu were still the enemy, one for allowing her wretched existence and the other for being a male. Even if he was a weak one, he was still a much desired boy, and that was more than Giza would ever be. She knew Heshima had paid special care to Kifu. If Kifu had gone missing, wouldn’t she have gone to the ends of the earth to find him?

Giza’s mind was in a low place when she saw Upendo, and she stopped. She didn’t want him to see this side of her. At first, she had said such inappropriate things, and he had been patient as Giza learned and grew. Despite all of the tragedy, Upendo remained the silver lining on the proverbial clouds that hovered over the russet lioness. He was the light and Giza was made of the stuff that snuffed it out, and she hated herself more than all the others because she was still Giza; the dark one. Scar’s look-alike. The unwanted. After a moment, she sighed softly to announce her presence. ”Sorry. I can go, if I’m intruding.” Of course, that wasn't what she wanted, but she would respect her best friend's privacy. Her bright eyes flashed in the sunlight as she looked from Upendo to the river, then back to the adolescent again.

Upendo had been so silent and concentrated on his reflection and thoughts that he didn't hear Giza approach. Nor would he notice her until she spoke to him. But in the meantime, he would ponder many things, but most importantly the Great Spirits. Who were they? Were they previous rulers of the Lowlands that had passed on just like his father's Great Kings of the Past -although they worshiped deceased members from many lands-? Or were they just the important lions who in their lifetime did great deeds? Was his mother a Great Spirit now that she had moved on? What of his father who had saved his king from a rogue killer and had died trying? Would he be a Great Spirit because of his deeds? Would Upendo one day become a Great Spirit himself? The teen secretly wished that one of his queens would stumble upon him, wondering what was the matter with him so he could question all of these things. It saddened him that something the pride felt and preached so heavily about was something that the growing adolescent knew almost nothing about. But alas his queens were not the ones who stumbled upon the concentrating teen, but he was soon greeted by the low voice of his best friend. Her bright russet coat flashed in his eyes and he turned his head to great her. She worried about her intruding and he shook his head softly, "Nah you weren't intruding, I was just thinking that's all,"

In the past few months, Upendo had found Giza to be the closest thing he had, friend or otherwise. And in these past few months she had grown into quite the beautiful lioness. Upendo's raging teenage hormones weren't talking yet, but he still knew that Giza was growing up fast and soon she would be searching for a mate. Upendo found himself knowing that whoever Giza did choose as a mate that he would be one lucky lion. The two had, although not immediately, seemingly grew up together in this luscious jungle paradise that still on days felt the wrath of the female's father. And now, the thought of the two being together actually made Upendo feel extremely uncomfortable. It would be like marrying his sister in a way, as he found that he viewed Giza more as family than anyone else. Still, what would the cards hold for the two once they grew older? Even though months younger than Giza, Upendo was finding himself almost at her height when the two stood and sat, making him feel more accomplished now that he would be able to grow up strong like his parents wanted him to. Bringing that topic to light, he chuckled slightly, "Hey, I'm catching up to you ya' know. I'm almost as tall as you, just a few more inches and I'll be there!" It was true that Giza had lanky genes on both sides of her gene pool, but she seemed to be defying the odds by growing up strong and mighty. It must have been the amount of nutrition, she was getting so much more here.

But still, Upendo was a male and Giza a female. Giza would most likely be entitled to stay here while Upendo go off on his own. He hated the thought of leaving his jungle home and he would have to talk to his queens about being able to stay here instead of venturing off to start a life somewhere else. Giza also would probably feel the need to leave as well, seeing as she wasn't a natural born Lowlander like Upendo was. Either or, hopefully the two would be able to remain friends no matter what happened in life. But now, Upendo looked at his friend's bright cerulean eyes and a curious expression found its way onto his muzzle. He placed his paw on Giza's in a friendly way and questioned softly, "Giza what's wrong? You look troubled, is something the matter?" Giza had given Upendo the news that her father was the most hated lion in the savannah, but he couldn't see his influences besides her appearance. She wasn't her father, she was too kind to be her father. And still, Upendo couldn't connect two and two together to see how Scar could be her father, it just didn't make sense in the teen's head. But soon Upendo felt as if he was going to find out something else about her family or her past. But Upendo wouldn't expect what would possibly come out of her mouth regarding the two rogues that had passed through the kingdom during the recent weeks. If that was Giza decided that now would be the best time to tell him.

The young lioness sat beside her friend, watching the water ripple against the smooth rocks along its banks. Giza didn’t doubt that soon enough, Upendo would tower over her. Certainly, the russet youth was healthier now than she had ever been in her homeland, but she was still on the small side due to her genetics. Only Kifu had been smaller than Giza at birth, and little did she know that he too had experienced a growth spurt. They would likely always be petite for their species and gender, but being away from Scar and the Pridelands was better for them and their growth. She glanced to the male and felt an unfamiliar flutter within her that she quickly ignored. ”Well, what’s on your mind?” It was still strange to see his brown mane growing like a jungle weed as childhood was unwittingly left behind. He seemed to mature daily, right before their eyes. There were whispers among the pride that he would make a fine suitor for the princess, who remained an only child and the heir of the Lowlands. This seemed the most logical conclusion, since Nyima and Upendo were close in age, and given Upendo’s status as the lone male of the pride. Giza thought little about it, simply pushing it from her thoughts. If that was what had to happen, then what did it matter how Giza felt?

She was fortunate to have one true friend in the world right there beside her, and she didn’t feel that she deserved anything more. Her own family had not wanted her, it was hard to imagine anyone else would. After a moment of quiet, she lowered her voice. ”My mother is the lioness who passed through the Lowlands not long ago, along with my brother. Nyota encountered her and directed her to an unclaimed piece of land. I don’t think she knows that I’m here.” But the presence of the pair begged the question: what had become of her sisters? She assumed Ari remained in the Pridelands with their father, for she couldn’t imagine Scar would allow her to leave his grasp, even if Heshima and Kifu had escaped. As for Tasa.. Well, Giza could only imagine. Now the litter of four would be old enough to travel on their own, but Giza had not yet found Tasa, nor did she know where to find her.

Heshima, on the other paw, was very close indeed. Giza bowed her head, overcome with her conflicting feelings. ”I haven’t decided if I should go to her or not. She didn’t come to find me when I was missing.” Her bitterness leaked into her statement, and she bit her lip as she looked back to Upendo. She already knew what he would say, but Giza wasn’t willing to accept it. She knew it would seem selfish to have a parent so close, only to avoid them, since Upendo’s were both long gone now. But to Giza, she had been orphaned two years prior, the moment she left the Pridelands. Her anger flared along with her ebony nostrils. ”I’ll bet she didn’t even try. She had enough cubs, she didn’t want me.” Her breath caught in her throat and tears threatened to fall, but she fought through the sad emotion to remain angry instead.

Upendo sighed and looked to the dusky sky, stars were now beginning to show and twinkle in the sky, "I was just thinking about mother, if she's one of the Great Spirits that the pride teaches about," Upendo scoffed slightly, "I feel so lost Giza, mother isn't here anymore, it just seems surreal," he paused for a moment and then continued. "Mala and Saki," calling them by their childhood nicknames, "I feel like I need to be there for them as their brother, but also as their father and mother. There's just so many emotions tugging at me Giza, it honestly scares me," Upendo placed his paw upon the sacred water in front of him to touch his reflection, the ripples moved rapidly away from the paw and the teen quickly withdrew it to find none other than his father staring back at him. "I didn't feel anything like this when father died, I just felt I needed to be closer to my sisters to make sure they didn't do anything stupid. But this, it's just," Upendo stopped, he didn't know what else to say. He turned his head to peer into the eyes of his friend, but he stayed silent. There was something that he felt inside when he looked at Giza, but he couldn't put his paw on it. For right now he shoved it off and thought about the rumors going around the pride. He was the only male Lowlander, and the only heir was Nyima. Although Nyima was a good friend, he honestly didn't want to become king, something he would have to talk about with Queen Nyota.

But what came next out of Giza's mouth was shocking, the duo that had ventured into the Lowlands just weeks prior were none other than Giza's own mother and brother. He remembered earlier conversations where Giza said that there were a lot of cubs in her litter, so he wondered why only her mother and brother had escaped her father's wrath. "Giza that's great!" But the young teen listened on how Giza's anger was getting the better of her, how she was trying to use the excuse of how her mother didn't come to find her as a reason not to go see her. Upendo sat in silence and listened to everything his russet friend had to say, but the last sentence that came out of her muzzle tore Upendo's caring heart to pieces. I’ll bet she didn’t even try. She had enough cubs, she didn’t want me. The clone of the demon Shinikizo sighed and chuckled softly at the same time before speaking his mind. "I thought the same thing about my father before he died Giza, you know that. He had five cubs, he left me with my sisters in the Lowlands instead of taking me with Jabari and Ziko. I thought he didn't want me, he only wanted the stronger cubs of the litter, he didn't want a clone of him running amuck in the snowy lands where he lived. But then I realized something," Upendo thought about what he was going to say, he never liked to admit he was wrong about anything, but what came out next was going to shock everyone.

"I realized that my father did care for me, and he loved me with all of his heart. He tried so hard, faced so many obstacles, just so my and my siblings would have the best life possible. I used to loathe him, but now all I want is just one chance to apologize to him, tell him I'm sorry I didn't see the light in his ways," The teen paused for a moment before continuing again, "Giza, you're my best friend, and I'm telling you this as your best friend. Don't make the same mistakes that I did, don't wait until it's too late and your mother is gone. Think about it, your father is a horrible lion. There had to be a reason your mother didn't come to look for you, not because she didn't love you," Upendo moved closer to Giza, so close that now their bodies were touching. He wanted to comfort his friend so much, but he didn't want anything bad to happen to her by what he told her. "Go to her Giza, you'll feel much better afterwords. Just remember that you have to come back here. Seems like we're the only support group we have," The last thing was said with a hearty laugh but he honestly had fear going through his heart. What if Giza never returned? What if she found a life with her mother a better life than with him in the Lowlands? But right now he would have to wait and see, and hopefully the female would listen to his words and take them well. Hopefully Giza would be able to repair her bonds with her family, and then be able to stay in the Lowlands with him. In a best-friend sort of way of course.

Naturally, Upendo was thinking of his mother, which made Giza feel even worse about the avoidance of her own. But their situations were different, she reasoned. Shani didn’t want to leave, she didn’t have a choice. Heshima was not the same, in Giza’s mind. As the male spoke of his sisters, Giza nodded slowly, a faraway look in her bright eyes. ”I have two sisters. Well, there’s another one, but she’s not my full sister. I have no idea where they are now.” What had happened to them? Had Heshima abandoned Ari, knowing that Scar would never let the mother leave with his favorite, his beloved daughter? But then she looked at Upendo and a faint smile appeared on her muzzle. ”For what it’s worth, if it weren’t for you, I would have been a goner a long time ago. Maybe you can’t be father, mother, and brother, but you’re…” She paused in thought, trying to find a word to describe what Upendo was. But there was nothing that accurately painted the picture of kindness that the youth was, always had been. She laughed, batting at his whiskers. ”You’re more than all of those things. I’m sure your sisters appreciate it.”

The Lowlanders kept the younger generation safe and well fed, but in Giza’s mind, it was Upendo’s cheerful presence that made the jungle the place she had grown to love. Even now, as the russet teen fumed about her mother’s close proximity, Upendo tried to put a positive spin on the whole ordeal. He spoke of his father reverently, after putting the deceased lion down for so long, and Giza had to laugh at the irony of it all. Her laughter had lost its playfulness. ”Best life possible, huh? Why don’t you ask your brothers if they have had the best life possible in the Coldlands.” It seemed to Giza that parents were capable of destroying the lives of their offspring with little difficulty. One bad decision and that was it, an entire family was ripped apart, never to be whole again.

But when it came to her own family, Giza was still stubborn. Her bitterness had lingered, just as the nightmares had persisted for two years. Scar was bad, but Heshima had allowed it all to happen, as far as Giza knew. She would soon learn that she was wrong, but the cub within was still hurt. ”My guess is that she realized she could have more, if I never turned up again. You know my sister was there with me that day? She knew that I was stuck there. I thought she’d come back with the grown ups. I thought my mother would come running. And I waited.” Her eyes shut tightly to control her tear ducts from springing a leak the size of a waterfall. ”I waited all day and no one came. She should wait, too.” Even as the words escaped, Giza despised the darkness in her intent, and she looked down, ashamed. She was her father’s daughter, after all.

Upendo finally was able to know how many siblings Giza had, well at least sister wise. She had two full sisters and one half, meaning that she possibly had more half-siblings by the ways of her father. But little did they know she had two more half-siblings than any of the other cubs her father had sired, for not through him but through her mother. Upendo wondered what it was like to have a half-sibling, for to his knowledge he had only blood siblings. But little did he know, his father made one slip-up, giving him a half-sister that no one would find out about. As the female batted his whiskers, saying that he was more than just what he wanted to be, he laughed and batted her paw away. "So that should mean that I'm a God then eh? All hail Upendo! God of the Lowlands!" But alas, jokes were soon put aside as Giza started to press into her familial matters, also commenting on his as well. She talked about how his brothers, despite what he had said, probably didn't have the best life in the Coldlands. Normally Upendo would be fine with Giza saying something like this, but for some reason he was starting to get slightly annoyed. "My brothers didn't give my father a chance Giza, they fought him every step of the way just as I did. They were living with him, I wasn't, it was different. We didn't understand what he was trying to do, we thought he was trying to destroy our lives. But, it wasn't his intention,"

Upendo shook his head, "No, they could have had a better life if they understood him. My brothers are too thick-skulled to get it into their heads. When my father died I bet you they were overzealous, but everyone needs their parents guidance one way or another. We weren't ready to be left alone, none of us were," If someone had told Upendo a year prior to this that he would be vouching for his father's actions, he would have labeled them as crazy. But it seemed his kind and loving heart prevailed again and he finally saw what his father was trying to do. He didn't want to hurt any of them, he just -as he said when he came to pick up Jabari and Ziko- wanted to be the best father he could be. He didn't want to be his own father, and that was exactly who he seemed to become. The dark tan cub worried about his own brothers, they had lived with him almost their entire lives and he knew that they in the end wouldn't want to be like Shinikizo once was, but would that turn into the same way their father was? Would they be lead down the path to darkness just because of what their father was? The dual-eyed teen started to pace around, hearing his friend's story and how she was left alone. Everything started to become an annoyance to Upendo, and for the first time he was irritated by his best friend. The russet teen said that her mother should have to wait just as she did, and with that Upendo snapped.

An almost evil eye narrowed and stared at Giza, this being his crimson eye, his violet hidden from view. His head was held high and he was looking down upon his friend. For the look he was giving Giza, he could resemble the Prideland Queen Zira at that moment in time. "Giza!" Upendo shouted with a low voice, "Listen to yourself! Your mother should wait? Do you really think that your father would just let your mother waltz off into the borderlands of his kingdom to search for a daughter he didn't want?" The dual-eyed teen was almost chastising his friend now as a mother would do to her own cub. "You're being selfish Giza! Do you know how much I miss my mother? Do you even realize how much I want to see her smile one more time? To hear her laugh once more? Your mother is just over the pass, and you want to sit here and do nothing about it?" The teen's anger reached an all time high, and he roared softly in annoyance. He plopped himself onto the ground, placing his head into his paws. Tears started to run down his face, and he raised his voice once more. "Giza you aren't your father, so stop acting like him. You've told me your father is a cruel lion who doesn't give a flying warthog about anyone but himself. Don't you think your mother has gone through enough of that already without you acting hormonally crazed just like he seems to be in all of your stories?" Hurting his friend's feelings was the last thing Upendo wanted to do, but if it was the only way to get her to listen and rationalize, then so be it.

When he proclaimed himself a god, Giza cast him an incredulous look. "I wouldn't go quite that far, but you know what I mean. It wouldn't be the same in the Lowlands without our Upendo running around." But with that, the good natured afternoon would take a turn. If there was one thing Giza didn't care for, it was being told she was wrong, or being told what to do, and Upendo was now doing both. Black rimmed ears fell back flat against her skull, but she listened as Upendo spoke. He had a lot to say and she would allow him to say it all, but all the while Giza was reminded of the fact that their circumstances had been very different from the very start. Giza had never really been wanted. It was different, she rationalized.

A sardonic laugh parted her dark lips when Upendo then spoke of being alone. This was something Giza understood quite intimately. "I wasn't ready to be left alone. Where was that guidance then?" There was no use arguing and Giza knew it. Upendo would argue until his faced turned blue. He was the one lion Giza expected to care, and she hated to quarrel. But then Upendo got nervy. It was comparing the lioness to her dark father that pushed Giza over the line. Every day she struggled with her appearance, trying to see a pretty lioness there instead of her father staring back through the water. But all she saw was Scar. She had suffered enough because of him, but for Giza, there would be no escaping her father. Not even his death would end the memories or the self-loathing she experienced because of that hated russet coat, that slick black mane. She was spared his piercing green eyes but other siblings had not been so lucky.

Of course, Upendo's lecturing was stinging because it was true, but it was too much to hear and Giza turned sharply. Her back to Upendo, a soft growl escaped as she spoke. "You never met Scar, how would you know?" Hadn't she gone through enough? Now she had to be reminded of how terrible she was deep inside by the one person who she thought it didn't matter to. Giza wasn't going to stick around and let the fight get drawn out. It was upsetting to see Upendo angry, especially if it was with her, but now Giza was mad too. Her mother had some explaining to do, and now the russet teen was in a bad state. But she had been given her the courage to go and begin the conversation, even if it would be an unpleasant one. She couldn't bear to look at Upendo at that moment, she needed her energy now, and she began her journey in earnest, moving quickly between the jungle trees towards the mountains.

The sound of an argument nearby caught Nyota's sensitive ears. She had been walking alongside the river, as she did nearly every day while out on patrol, when she heard Upendo's voice uncharacteristically angry, and Giza's low tones rising above a soft whisper. She couldn't make out what they were saying, since their voices mixed and mingled with the melodic rush of the river over pebbles and boulders. Then the tense voices ended, and luckily for Nyota, Giza stormed away in the opposite direction, never knowing the older lioness had been lurking around. Of course Nyota wasn't intentionally spying, but it would have looked bad, no doubt. After a few minutes, the brown lioness continued on her trek, knowingly heading towards Upendo.

Upendo was the son that Nyota could never have. So long had passed since Nyota saw her own son Sakitu that if it weren't for his shockingly white pelt, it was possible mother would never recognize son, in a chance meeting. Now Upendo was the only male remaining in the Lowlands. Nyota had long hoped that Nyima would take a liking to the young male, and vice versa, but the two seemed destined to remain good friends. That didn't stop Nyota from secretly wishing for something more, but she would never be the kind of parent who chose her daughter's mate. Nyota's own parents had attempted countless times to set the young princess up with an eligible pride member, but Nyota always turned them down because they had never seemed right. In any case, the queen of the jungle stepped out of a thicket of towering bamboo to find Upendo alone by the edge of the water.

"Pendo," she beckoned in a soothing voice. Her own mother had been named Penda, and she secretly relished calling Upendo by the nickname that reminded her of her long gone family. "Are you alright, my dear? You disappeared quite early today." A maternal smile was offered as Nyota approached slowly to sit beside the young lion. Shani had been dead for some time now, but Nyota knew the pain of loss would always be with a sensitive lion like Upendo. Mis-matched eyes turned towards the wet river bank. "I have always loved this river. My mother used to tell us that you could hear the voices of ghosts in the babbling of the water, trying to speak to us." She fell silent to listen to the current, and she could have sworn she heard words there, whispered from the depths.

Upendo's tears kept flowing as the heated argument between him and Giza escalated. He stayed silent, for towards the end she was right. He had never met her father, and yet there he was comparing her to him. The teen choked out a final, "Fine," before hearing Giza pad off into the distance. The teen was confused, he had just tried to help Giza make that step to go see her mother but in the end there was a big gaping hole in the relationship between them. It had truly been their first fight, and it had escalated so quickly that the male didn't know what had truly happened. Making Giza mad was the last thing Upendo wanted to do, and the growing male had just done that same thing. He felt that it was true, he really did step out of line, but how could someone like her draw that much anger out of the adolescent? He never truly experienced that much anger and pain in his lifetime, not even when he was loathing his father. Upendo was too naive at the moment that he actually liked Giza more than just being his best friend, but he still didn't understand why it hurt so much for that fight to occur. Was it because his kind and loving nature was almost put aside just because of Giza being selfish? Was she really not being selfish and Upendo just didn't realize it? While it was true that Upendo would give the world just to see his mother again, and the fact that Giza didn't want to see hers was absurd, but it was her life and it wasn't really Upendo's business.

As the tears started to slow their flowing, a rustling was heard in the distance. The teen lazily lifted his head and placed it upon his paws and stared at the ground. He really didn't care who it was, he would rather it be Giza though, just so he could apologize. They had both reacted harshly, but Upendo felt as if he should have most of the blame. Just then, a calm voice was heard and Upendo lifted his eyes to see his queen standing before him, questioning if everything was alright. "Yeah I know I ventured off. Sorry Queen Nyota, I just needed some time to myself. I've been worrying about Mala and Saki lately, trying to take care of them and all," Silence arose between the two lions and Upendo sighed, "You heard me and Giza fighting, didn't you Queen Nyota?" It was more of a shock that someone didn't stumble upon the scene while the two were arguing than someone finding the aftermath. The dark tan teen finally pushed himself up and cleared his throat, wiping his eyes with his paw and clearing away the last lonely tears. It was in that moment that Upendo realized that he now had some alone time with his queen. There was so much that he wanted to ask her, so much that he needed to know. But he didn't know where to start, everything was scrambling in his head, looking for their spot in the lineup to be asked. But Upendo couldn't decide upon one thing or another, so for the moment the adolescent stay silent.

Luckily, Nyota had paved the way for the first question to be asked, and the teen motioned his eyes the same way Nyota had done so at the river. He listened for the words that she said should be there, but Upendo heard nothing. He waited for a moment and finally questioned his queen. "Queen Nyota? Who exactly are the Great Spirits? The pride teaches and follows them, but I remain clueless to who they really are. How does one become one of these Great Spirits?" Upendo fell silent for a moment then continued again, "I sat here wondering if mother ended up becoming one, maybe even father as well since he died protecting his king. I know he believed in the Great Kings of the Past, but I still wonder," Even more questions plagued Upendo's mind but he had to keep them silent for now. This was one of the larger questions, for how could he really be apart of a pride that preached something that he had no clue what it was? Dual-colored eyes shifted and rested on the place where Giza had stormed off, it was away from the pride that the path led, and over to Malkia pass. It didn't hit Upendo that Giza most likely now had the strength to go visit her mother, so he just pushed it off as her needing time alone to herself. But, Upendo couldn't run after her, he didn't have the strength to apologize to her right then and there. He would wait until they both saw each other again. Then he would apologize for arguing, he would apologize for everything.

When Upendo spoke of caring for his sisters, Nyota was reminded of her own brothers. She had always admired the two older lions, and she felt a pain in her chest to think of the fallen princes. She felt even worse when she remembered how she had deprived Nyima of her brother, and felt the same familiar sadness that surfaced when she thought of Sakitu in the Coldlands. ”Malaika and Sakina are no longer cubs, Upendo, just as you yourself will soon be grown. It seems like only yesterday..” she began with a vague longing in her voice, for so much had chanced since the births of her litter as well as Shani’s. The queen’s eyes peered around, and she found that Giza was certainly gone from the scene. Of course Nyota was curious to know what had transpired there. A lover’s quarrel, perhaps? Was it too soon to worry about the next generation producing cubs of their own? The thought made Nyota feel old as the hills. ”I heard passionate voices and wondered who it could be, but I heard nothing more.” A curious look crossed Nyota’s features, an expression she didn’t bother to hide. ”Is Giza alright?”

She fell silent as Upendo spoke of his parents, still watching the rippling water intently. ”Sometimes it is not our actions in life that make us great. I believe for some, it is the legacy that is left behind that proves greatness. Though she was young, your mother left this world only after creating something worth having lived for. She would be proud to see the lion you are becoming, of this I am certain, Pendo. I can only guess that your father would be pleased, as well.” Here Nyota fell silent, eyes shutting lightly in reverence for the dead. Shani could not be saved, but her offspring still had a chance at life, and the chocolate brown lioness was determined to protect them. She worried the girls would discover the outside world and feel the same need to wander that their mother had. If Shani hadn’t strayed, the cubs never would have been created. She would also still be alive. But there was no use wondering about the past and what could have been. Nyota withheld a sigh and opened her mis-matched eyes to look at Upendo again.

”You see, in the jungle we are taught that it is the Spirit of Life that guides us along. I have always believed personally that our ancestors never leave the land. They’re still here with us, no matter how many years go by. I have no doubts that your mother has joined the spirits and that she remains here to keep you and your sisters safe.” A faint smile was offered. ”You will find that here in the Lowlands, many of us have lost our loved ones too soon. During the wartime, it was not uncommon for entire families to be wiped out in battle, leaving only the cubs too young to fight. These were bloody days, and I hope to never repeat them.” But without a king, they would never truly be safe in the jungle. It was a wonder they had survived for years now without intrusion, and each day the worried queen patrolled and searched and waited for something to change.

Upendo chuckled as his queen mentioned that he and his sisters weren't cubs anymore and he brought his paw up to his head. "Yeah I know, I just see mother in them so much, I don't want anything to happen to them," Upendo was aware that the only reason he and his siblings were alive today was because their mother stepped outside of the borders and his father charmed her into staying in a land far away. The things he had said to Giza before were true, he now respected his father even though he still had some doubts about him and his actions when he was still alive. It was as Upendo was pondering this that Nyota questioned if the russet female was alright, stating that she heard passionate voices from the distance. The teen had no idea if he should tell his queen the truth about why they were fighting, but it really was Giza's place to tell, not his. "Giza is," he paused for a moment to gather up his thoughts, "conflicted at the moment Queen Nyota. Her past has caught up with her so to speak and I see her as being irrational in dealing with it the way she wants to. I know it really isn't my place to speak or anything, but," And Upendo stopped right there, he didn't want to get any more angry on the subject and he pushed his anger away. Even though he felt that Giza was wrong he couldn't help but to feel the need to apologize to his best friend. He shouldn't of snapped, it just wasn't right.

The adolescent male smiled as he queen talked about how even though his mother died young, she died after leaving her children who would do great things in the world. She mentioned how she and his father would be proud which made Upendo stand a little taller in that moment. "Thank you Queen Nyota, I feel as if both mother and father would be proud. Father wanted strong sons and mother, she loved us deeply. I find myself feeling as if I have made them prouder than they ever could have been alive," The teen nudged his queen playfully, "You know, Nyima is growing up fine too. I think Sakitu is growing up wonderful as well. They have a great mother, a fine lineage on both sides of their blood. They're going to make great rulers someday," Unlike most, Upendo wasn't sucking up to his queen but speaking the truth. He knew that Nyima was growing up fine under both of her mothers' guidance. Not having much influence from a fatherly figure seemed to be working out fine for the Lowland princess and also the cubs around her age. It seemed that all of the Lowland children grew up mostly around their mothers with the exception of Giza who had both influences even though she stayed away from her sire at all costs. But now these cubs were growing into young adults and thoughts of parenthood seemed to plague Upendo's mind. He wanted to be a good father for his cubs when they came around, but luckily he had time before he had to start to worry.

He listened as his queen talked about who and what the Great Spirits were and he sighed relief when he heard that his mother had most likely become one of the Great Spirits. But then Nyota spoke about how many had lost their families due to war time and the teen fell silent for a moment, "You lost your family, didn't you Queen Nyota?" The teen never really knew of his queen's past nor did he find it ever relevant to ask. But Upendo was smarter than the average lion -except for some of the Desertlanders to the north- and he quickly put two and two together. After his queen would speak about a possible loss of family Upendo would bring something up that had been plaguing his thoughts, "Queen Nyota? Can I seriously voice something to you?" The teen would pause and then bring up the one thing that had been on his mind; Nyima. "There are rumors going around the pride, it's obvious to see that I'm the only male. I know what everyone's thinking but," he paused for a moment and then continued, "even though it would be awesome to be your son-in-law Queen Nyota, I just can't see myself ending up with Nyima when we're older. I can't see myself as her consort. She's a great friend, but that's really all I want her to be, just a friend," Ruling a kingdom alongside Nyima was something that his father would want him to do, but Upendo couldn't. He couldn't deal with the responsibility that came with ruling the pride. The teen just hoped that his queen and ultimately Nyima would understand once the time came.

Nyota gazed across the wide river. The sound of the current always made the lioness feel calm, and she exhaled a deep breath as Upendo spoke of his sisters. The young lion was valiant and brave, and the chocolate brown lioness felt a sense of pride in the boy. "I understand your desire to keep them safe, Pendo. But you must try not to worry so. You are not their parent. You are a good brother though; the best." The teen then explained that Giza's past had caught up to her, and Nyota wondered what this could mean. The cub had never caused trouble for the jungle pride. "We may not always agree with the decisions our loved ones make, but we must respect their judgement. We all have our struggles. I cannot guess what troubles Giza, but even if you see her as irrational, you are all that she has. She will return soon," she said with a reassuring glance. For his sisters and for the lost cub he had saved, Upendo meant the world. Indeed, if only his parents could see him now.

It had been a long time since mother had laid mis-matched eyes upon her son in the Coldlands, and the mention of Sakitu brought back that familiar ache that she had suffered from the day the cub had been taken by his father. She could only assume he was still alive but she could not risk traveling there herself to see. She imagined he had a snowy mane, just like Ismahel, but he would still have the same eyes; her eyes. Nyota fought the urge to sigh aloud, instead offering an appreciative smile. "Thank you," she said simply. Though she had no control over it, Nyota regretted that her only litter had been so small. It would be up to the jungle's other queen to expand the royal family now. A subtle nod followed the question regarding her family. "Our pride was once much larger than it is today. Sometimes I fear we will never fully recover from the wars. My entire family was killed during my first three years. My parents, my brothers, cousins and friends too numerous to count. The same can be said for Duara's kin. She is the last remaining, as well."

The next subject came as a surprise to Nyota. Nyima had never spoken to her personally about having feelings for Upendo, so Nyota wasn't certain how the princess would feel. This also meant that the only prospect they had for a future king was politely declining the opportunity before it had even been offered. It was a little disappointing to Nyota, but she would never be the kind of parent who would force something so important upon their child. Her own parents had never required Nyota to choose a mate, which she was eternally grateful for. Nyima, along with Upendo, would be given the same liberty to decide for themselves. The queen nodded slowly in response. "I understand, Upendo. It has always been my belief that taking a mate is a very serious matter, one that cannot be forced." The decision one's heart makes may not seem the most obvious, but sometimes, the answer could be right there in plain sight, waiting to be discovered. This was certainly true when it came to Nyota and Duara. Friends for life, their affection for each other had developed into something that both lionesses struggled to understand. But in the end, the heart wants what it wants, and there's no stopping love. "Regardless of this, you will always be welcome in the Lowlands, both you and Giza." Nyota smiled a secret, knowing smile to herself.

As his queen talked about how Upendo was one of the best brothers that he could be, he nodded in thanks. Of course he wasn't one of their parents, but he felt so protective of his sisters that it's what he wanted to be. But soon Upendo felt as if the three might go their separate ways someday. Upendo knew that no matter what he would stay in the homeland of his mother, he would stay in the Lowlands that he came to love and enjoy. His queen spoke of Giza, how Upendo was all that she had in life and Upendo fell silent. It was true that the teen was the one who found her almost on the brink of death, he was the one who offered her a home in the Lowlands without anyone else's permission. He gave her love and compassion when everyone else had turned her away. And yet, Upendo felt as if he wasn't the only one that she had, "She doesn't have just me, she has the whole pride behind her. She has Mala and Saki behind her, Nyima too. She may have been born elsewhere, but the Lowlands are her home, with us," Upendo's mind raced and finally he whispered what seemed should be a secret, but he felt that his queen should know, "I never told you this Queen Nyota," he paused and collected his thoughts, "The lions who came through the lands not too long ago are Giza's mother and brother," The teen shook his head and shut his eyes, "Please, don't tell anyone else, I shouldn't have told you but I did,"

At the sound that the pride was much longer Upendo stopped and looked to the sky, imagining that many of the stars might just be everyone who the pride had lost from the wars. Having lost his parents he felt closer to his queen, but to hear that she had lost all of her friends, her siblings, it hurt the adolescent heart that beat inside the lion. "I couldn't imagine losing my siblings, even Jabari and Ziko who are in a different pride, they mean the world to me," But at the sound of his other queen losing her family as well Upendo's eyes snapped open and he looked at her in disbelief, "Queen Duara too? How much do I not know about our pride, about its past? I'm so lost Queen Nyota, I love my pride but I don't know the first thing about it," The teen then made a rational decision, one that he would never go back on his word for. The thought of the pride being small compared to pride of the past hurt Upendo and he smiled, "Don't worry Queen Nyota, I'll stay in the Lowlands when I get older. Me and my cubs, we'll stay here and help the pride as much as we can," A lioness almost always stayed with their birth pride unless they were exiled like Giza's family was but males always seemed to wander. He wouldn't let his sons have a controlling father, he wouldn't be able to stand knowing that he was keeping his sons away from either a love or a better life, but he would keep to his words and stay here with whatever children wanted to stay back and live with their father. Hopefully there would be more than one.

The thought of cubs actually felt nice to Upendo instead of scaring him like it would others. He wasn't ready to have a family right off the bat when he was an adult, but he had decided about a month ago that he wanted cubs when the right girl came along. He could imagine himself wrestling two little balls of dark tan with mismatched eyes and a dark brown tail tuft as the sun set over the horizon where the jungle could not see. Who was to say that his perfect lioness could of been the one who he was just fighting with, maybe it was Nyima after all? Or maybe there was another female outside the land's borders that was searching for him? Either way Upendo would be ready whenever the time came around. He would be the best father in the world to his cubs, give them the one thing that he couldn't have when he was their age. Nyota seemed to be fine with the fact that Upendo wanted to be just friends with the princess but then she mentioned that both he and Giza would be welcomed into the Lowlands whenever. Upendo's eyes widened and he stammered in shock, "M-Me? G-Giza?! What!?" Soon the shock vanished and he shook his head, "Come on Queen Nyota! We're just friends, that's all, she's my best friend nothing more," Or was she? Upendo didn't know anymore. He felt so protective of his best friend. She was his biological sister and best friend in his mind, but was she really turning into something more? Only time would tell.

Her bizarre mis-matched eyes, one jungle green and the other ocean blue, met Upendo's equally strange gaze of ruby and amethyst. If her own son had fared half was well in the care of his father in the Coldlands, Nyota would be proud. "How true, Upendo. I expected Giza's departure but now I am hopeful that she will stay." Nyota's expression did not reflect her shock when she learned that Heshima was actually the mother of the russet cub the jungle pride had cared for for so long now. Giza looked nothing like her mother, it seemed, but Nyota had seen Kifu and so the pieces of the puzzle all fit now. As much as Upendo and Nyota considered Giza a Lowlander, the chocolate brown queen had doubts that Giza herself felt like a real member of the pride. The young lioness seemed to avoid Nyota, for the most part, unless there was food to be eaten. "I suppose I would have found out sooner or later, anyway." Would Giza decide to join her mother in the newly established Ashlands? Or would she remain loyal to the pride that had taken her in two years ago?

A somber nod followed Upendo's question about Duara's family. "I did not know that you were interested in the history of the Lowlands. You are more fortunate than you know, to have been born after the war times. Everyone was expected to fight, as equals in battle, though some proved more skillful than others. But as the sun sets, we are a family. Those of us left behind can only hold on to what we have, and to one another. I have long considered you like a son of my own, Pendo." She had previously attempted to instill her daughter with the values and beliefs of the pride she would someday lead, but as Nyima grew, she seemed to be growing a rebellious streak as wide as the river. As a child, Nyima seldom strayed but now she seemed determined to be her own lioness, and to do what she pleased. It was worrisome for Nyota, naturally, especially now that she had to accept that there would be no potential mate for her daughter within her own pride.

Nyota knew deep down that it was very possible the jungle would lose both Giza and Upendo in the future, but she felt reassured by Upendo's words about staying, along with his future progeny.. And she felt a little disturbed. The notion of Upendo becoming a father made Nyota feel old. Shani's litter and her own were born within days of each other. In the mind of her mother, Nyima would always be a cub. Now they were taller, more mature, but it was still strange for Nyota to know that Upendo had such thoughts. The comment made her think of Shinikizo, who had all but been forgotten in Nyota's mind. She hoped that Upendo had better sense than his father had, and she was fairly convinced that when it came to nobility and responsibility, there were few like Upendo alive. He wouldn't be the kind of lion who fooled around with any willing female, leaving a trail of unwanted cubs as wide as the grasslands. Of this, Nyota was certain. She smiled.

Upendo's reaction to Nyota's not-so innocent comment about Giza caused the queen to laugh, it was thoroughly amusing. "I have learned from personal experience that best friends can make the best companions and partners." And that was all that Nyota had to say on the subject. Unable to hide her grin, she instead turned away to stare into the depths of the jungle. "Speaking of, I was just looking for my own. If you'll excuse me, I will you be on my way to leave you to your thoughts. Duara or myself will gladly share our history with you and any others who wish to know. It may not be pleasant but it is important to understand the mistakes made in the past so that we never repeat them." A final smile was offered as she turned her body away from the young male, ready to start her walk again. She had given him at least one thing to think about after their conversation.